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anitaray went off on vacation without sending us Chapter 31. Consequently, erastes sporked it.

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In which everyone forgets they are wizards from time to time, Hagrid turns into someone else completely and hundreds of children are marched to their death.

Chapter Thirty-One -- The Battle of Hogwarts


Henry V it AIN'TCollapse )
Today's sporking is by anitaray. She's on vacation until February 20th.

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Chapter 30: The Sacking of Severus Snape


In which Harry runs about hither and tither watching other people do stuff, and Voldemort chills for a bit. A LONG bit.



Also, Ginny, that supposedly powerful witch, is considered too young to fight, and we learn that torturing people is noble...if your name is Harry Potter.Collapse )

Chapter Twenty-Nine -- The Lost Diadem

Today's chapter was team-sporked by quinby and minkhollow.

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In which JKR crams the book we all wanted to be reading into half a chapter, the DA's remnants have out-thought the Trio, and Ravenclaw has the best common room ever.

Chapter Twenty-Nine -- The Lost Diadem


Also, the Trio are on a mission from Glod, Harry is full of Dumb, and there's actually something resembling a cliffhanger.Collapse )
In which the Trio has a run-in with Dementors, Death Eaters can't tell stags from goats, Aberforth reveals some unpleasant truths about his brother, and the other Prophecy Boy finally makes an appearance.

Note: This is from the British edition. Readers of the American edition may notice some differences in the text.

Chapter Twenty-Eight -- The Missing Mirror


Also, portraits do things that they really shouldn't do, and Harry Potter lies like a Persian rug.Collapse )
In which JKR proves that she can even make dragon riding dull, Voldemort kills more than the messenger and Harry makes (yet) another stupid decision

Chapter Twenty-Seven
The Final Hiding Place


Please welcome the Dragon Riders of Yawn....Collapse )

Chapter Twenty-Six -- Gringotts

Today's spork is by minkhollow.

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In which Gringotts appears to have taken advantage of security testing, the Trio did not plan for a bank full of nuns what would happen if they were suspected/caught, and a few of the plot points were cooler the first time people used them.

Chapter Twenty-Six -- Gringotts


Also, Griphook is a sneaky little bastard.Collapse )

Chapter Twenty-Five Shell Cottage

In which nothing much happens Remus is spectactularly stupid and the cottage is a TARDIS and I spend most of it obsessing about who and how many are in each bedroom.

But first... Description!Collapse )

Chapter Twenty- Four -- The Wandmaker

Today's spork is by asphodeline.

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In which we have character death, plot assassination and grammarcide and we learn that a wizard's wand follows the wizard or sometimes doesn't or maybe it does. Who knows? Ollivander doesn't. Oh and everything suddenly makes sense to Harry.

Lucky Harry...


Chapter Twenty-Four -- The Wandmaker


Also, Harry turns gravedigger, Voldemort turns grave robber, and Snape has a cameo.Collapse )

Chapter Twenty-Three -- Malfoy Manor

In which Harry suffers a frontal lobe migraine for most of the chapter, the Random Death Eaters show common sense, Rowling completely ignores her own set-up for a character arc, all the wizards forget that they're wizards and Dobby is a deus ex machina.


Chapter Twenty-Three -- Malfoy Manor


Also, Fenrir is creepily stalkerish, and everyone gets CAPSLOCKY.Collapse )

Chapter 22 --The Deathly Hallows

Once again, we have smurasaki as today's sporker.

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In which I wonder once again why the series isn’t “Hermione Granger and the…,” Harry turns into Gollum, and the Trio is captured in the stupidest way imaginable.

Chapter Twenty-Two: The Deathly Hallows


Also, wizards prove to have no concept of homicide investigation, and we learn the worst code names in the history of espionage.Collapse )